I have been teaching teens for over 20 years. Part of that job is that once a year, I accompany my mentor class, to their annual camp. 

Nou kyk nê, I like kamp kwaai, but I think it is fair to say that after 20 years, I am ready to leave it to the younger generation of teachers. Taking care of a class full of hormonal imbalanced individuals that are not even your own, are soms a bit…tough. Especially those that were just born to werk op jou tietspiere. Every class have a few. Some schools more than others. (I can hear the AMEN from the teachers reading this.)  I feel you.  

Off course there are wonderful educational and adventurous moments as well, filled with laughter and fun, learning and witty comments, respect and good manners. Off course. Sometimes, it even feels real…

There are also teens that are much more cleverer than us. It is those ones that when the teacher’s opinion or theory or lesson is not watertight and filled with hard proof (see exhibit A-Z), they WILL go down. And I mean rock bottom. Your career is ruined, and you might as well go home and cry. Or die. I’ve done that many times. But ja, I still come back. And you want to know why? Because of teens like Leila.

 Leila is 13, very bright, inquisitive, chatty, happy, kind, positive, friendly, polite, energetic, ambitious, full of questions, opinions and life. Her mind is busy, curious, expectant, hopeful and aware. She has a confidence and assertiveness about her. She is also a cancer patient. In and out of hospital undergoing chemoptherapy, surgeries and other forms of invasive treatments from as young as 3 years old. Her body clearly showing signs of her decease.  If it was not for her appearance, of all the people I think you will ever meet in life, Leila would have not ever given you the impression that she is actually going through a terrible ordeal.

I’ve met her last year when she was a first time visitor in my lessons, and this year, she is in my tutorclass, which means I get to spend more time with her, meet the parents, and taking care of her emotional and academic welfare. To be honest, I was a bit worried when I heard I will be her tutor this year. The previous year, she was absent a lot, in and out of hospital, chemo and operations again and again. But things started to look better this year, and her attendance improved. She even decided to attend lessons with feeding tubes in her nose. I was surprised. Because, if anyone has an excuse to stay at home, it was her. Sick, thin, low energy and for a teen girl to have no hair…I mean, I was so de more in with my hairdresser the other day...she cut my fringe so short that I looked like a tuinbesem! I was upset for days. Had to appear in public like this you know. Very embarrassing. But not Leila. Walking around confidently as if it’s the latest fashion for girls. 

Like I said, one would never say she is sick if it wasn’t for her outward appearance. She came to school while others stay at home with a headache or period cramps. She emailed teachers to catch up on outstanding work, while some other students couldn’t care less. She planned and worked out ways to do most of the required assignements and tests, even when she was in hospital. At her worst, she had to skip a subject or two, but she came back with such force, and tried her utmost best to finish it all, the whole curriculum in all subjects! She has not once felt sorry for herself, been sad or depressed, unhappy or less chatty at school. She lives her life as if absolutely nothing will stop her, talking about her illness matter of factly. No victim mentality whatsover. No cottonwool. No helicopter parenting. They raised her just like a healthy child, with a future to think about. It must be so hard for the parents. I had a few teacher-parent meetings with them, sometimes together, sometimes separate. The love they have for the daughter is tangible. But the strength it takes from them to do all of this…awe-inspiring. 

So when I saw Leila on camp, participating in every single activity, I was amazed. She hardly used the available wheelchair for when she got tired. She did the swimming and canoeing, even wrestling! While some other students are looking for a spot in the shade, a chair or a moment to do nothing, she did it all, wholeheartedly and full of smiles.

There was a stage I had to stop and stare…her outward appearance drawing attention wherever she goes. But her way of living, the life inside her just outshined everyone else’s. She has the strongest mind of them all. And while she wrestled a student on the grass, giggling all the way, I felt so silly for my pathetic attempt to get some sympathy earlier that day…

I was trying to get to the campground by public transport. Lets just say that my brain was NOT blessed with a GPS system. No sense of direction. I get lost all the time and have no idea where I am on this planet. On my way to the camp, I got on the wrong bus, in the wrong direction. Twice. To top it all, the stress to figure out where I was and how to get to where I should be, made me forgot my sleeping bag on the bus as well. Let’s just say that after 5 hours of traveling (it should have been just 1.5 hours) I got so fedup and so angry and so hot and bothered, that I sat next to the road, crying. When I finally reached my destination and feeling so sorry for myself, I told everybody who was willing to listen about my almost near-death experience.  

But seeing and experiencing Leila’s attitude to life, in spite of her circumstances, I got a good dose of ‘its what you make of it’.

Her thin and fragile body suddenly got pinned down by her wrestling partner, and I jumped up, shouting at her partner to be careful. but it was not needed. Leila threw her hands up in surrender, laughing, saying “Lets try again bro, lets try again!”

That night, deep inside a borrowed sleeping bag, I asked God forgiveness for my many kak-en-kerm-attitudes, jannie-jammergatgeit, my sannie-sanikgeit, my taking-for-grantedness, my poor-lil-me viewpoint of certain things, my bitching and complaining when things don’t go my way, my ag, sommer alles. I realised that life will throw arrows, some we will catch, some we will miss, and some will pierce. Those that pierce does not define us. Leila doesn’t allow that! Our identity is not based on what happens to us. It is in Jesus and what He went through for us. Jesus’s job is not to shield us from all of life’s arrows. Some arrows are allowed to teach us lessons. Some arrows comes from our own doing. Others, well...those we don't understand...those are the hardest ones. But through all those arrows, especially the piercing ones, He is there to help, guide, listen, heal, teach, lead and love. Because of those arrows, we can get closer to God. Because of those arrows, I can support another person dealing with the same arrow. I don’t know why Leila didn’t miss the cancer arrow. But I do know that God is right there walking with her, and God is using her to help others, without her even knowing. 

So Leila, next year you are with a different teacher. I am so grateful to have had you for a year. You are part of my handful of people that has shaped me. And I thank God for the priviledge to have been taught by you. Next time, when I am on the wrong bus again, in the opposite direction of where I should be in life, or when I get pinned down by difficult circumstances, or my hairdresser makes me look like a tuinbesem, I will think of you. I will throw my arms up in surrender, laugh out loud and say: “ Lets try again bro, lets try again!”. 

 

Zalea (May2025)

Scripture:  2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18 (NIV)

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair...
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."